Connections
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| Grace by Betsy Williams I paused as I walked into Meg's new room. On the floor in the corner was an unusual collection of items, neatly arranged on a woven placemat: a beautiful shell from the tropics, a smooth rock with a white ring around it, a beat-up old soft-ball. Just above the collection was a picture of Meg's Mom, and another of her Dad-separate, as they have been now for three years. I didn't have to ask what this touching scene was about. I knew it was Meg's personal altar where she goes to sit and think and just be quiet. Setting up an altar in her room and spending time there every day was a practice Meg, age 10, began when her Mom and Dad were getting divorced. Then, she often wanted to escape the anger and confusion around her. Surrounded by small reminders of what was good and meaningful in her life, she felt less alone, more able to face the hurt. Apparently, it became a habit worth keeping-a habit many would call a form of prayer. The practice of prayer is a difficult religious ritual for many Unitarian Universalists—with good reason. The images most readily associated with prayer are all very un-UU: reciting certain prayers at certain times to attain certain rewards; asking God to reverse the course of nature and save our loved ones from death; seeking revenge or restitution for an injustice we experience by asking a higher power to punish the offender. Little wonder UUs are so hesitant about prayer!
Prayer, when it is offered in the right way, redeems people from isolation. It assures them that they need not feel alone and abandoned. It lets them know that they are part of a greater reality, with more depth, more hope, more courage, and more of a future than any individual could hove by himself (sic)....If we can come to under-stand what prayer can and should be, and rid ourselves of some unrealistic expectations, we will be better able to call on prayer, and on God, when we need them most. (When Bad Things Happen to Good People, p.121-122) Above all, prayer connects. It connects us with what is good and strong deep within ourselves. It connects us with one another and with the wider world of nature in which we live. These connections are always there. But, like an electrical connection the current can be strong and steady, or loose and broken. Living religiously, nurturing spirituality, means paying attention to these connections, making them as strong and steady as possible. One way to do this is through a regular practice of prayer or meditation. For children, having something to focus on during prayer is helpful. This could be a spoken thought to contemplate (see your CLF Handbook of Religious Services for ideas), a picture to look at, or a combination of items set lovingly on a personal altar. One year I asked each member of my Sunday school class to bring a small item for our altar on opening day which symbolized something important to them. One person brought a picture of her friends from summer camp, another brought his dog's favorite toy, another a Lego car he had designed. They liked the ritual so much we continued it through-out the year, adding different objects of significance to our altar each Sunday. Children delight in assigning meaning and significance to ordinary things in their lives. (Adults do too!) Finding time for prayer is often the biggest obstacle. Don't let your good intentions stall out because you don't have a half-hour every-day to do this! Meaningful prayer can be very short-a moment or two sitting quietly around the dinner table is a form of prayer. It is not the amount of time, but the regularity of practice, which makes prayer meaningful. How many of you already have a regular prayerful practice in your family life? Take a minute to think about what prayer means to you. Do you pray? Do you pray with your children? As a family? I'd like to hear from you about what you do, or have tried, in your family. What has worked and what hasn't? Do you think prayer is an important ritual to teach our children? Why or why not? Please let me hear your thoughts by phone, mail, or e-mail: (bwilliams@uua.org). I look forward to hearing from you!  CLF Home Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF), 25 Beacon Street, Boston, MA 02108-2823 Phone: (617) 742-2100, ext. 166 · Fax: (617) 523-4123 · Email: clf@uua.org Address of this page: http://www.uua.org/clf/connections/Parenting/altar.html | ||