Connections HomeConnections Home  CLF HomeCLF Home
CLF chalice Church of the Larger Fellowship
Connections
Creating Ritual
An Outline

1. Decide what of importance you want to express in tradition or ritual

Do you want to build family unity?
Examples of rituals or traditions would be:
  • exercising together
  • making a meal together
  • having family meetings
  • reading together
  • celebrating anniversaries
  • remembering ancestors and friends who have died
  • animal blessings
Do you want to support spiritual growth and learning in your family?
Examples of rituals or traditions would be:
  • a candle lighting (or grace) at mealtime
  • sharing an affirmation each day
  • maintaining a family altar
  • saying an evening prayer at bedtime
  • performing skits for each other about famous events and persons in world religions
Do you want to affirm a new milestone for a family member?
Examples of rituals or traditions would be:
  • special meals when someone makes a team
  • gets a 100 on a test
  • makes a new friend
  • “graduates” from 6th grade
Do you want to connect your lives with the rhythms of nature and the cycle of seasons?
Examples of rituals or traditions would be:
  • celebrate the equinoxes and solstices, full moons, planting and harvest times
Do you want to share more fun together?
Examples of rituals or traditions are endless:
  • family fun nights (games, movies, jokes and riddles)
  • Saturday morning wrestling
  • mini-golf Sundays
2. Decide how often and when it should occur.
If advance planning is involved, when can the whole family be together? Make a commitment to each other. Get consensus-avoid making it a burden for anyone.

Remember, rituals don't always require advance planning. Pay attention to family rituals that happen spontaneously and then grow or develop on their own.

3. Decide where your ritual will take place.
Space is an important part of ritual. If indoors, set up an altar on a table, or floor, with candles or chalice and flowers or other objects that are symbolic of your celebration. If outside, try to define the space you're using with objects, or your bodies in a circle, or by naming visual objects around the perimeter.

4. Decide what you will do together.
Joan Goodwin, former DRE at CLF, identified three simple components of ritual or celebration:
  1. A space
  2. Some words to say or sing which create a special feeling and give meaning to your celebration
  3. Something to do together.

This final component leads back to #1 in this outline; it will depend on what you want to express in your tradition or ritual. The “doing together” can be as simple as a hand squeeze, or as complex as a community harvest celebration. Once you identify the role you want ritual to play in your family life, the specifics will follow.

Have fun!

Resources for Creating Family Traditions and Ritual


*Alexander, Scott, Editor. Everyday Spiritual Practice, Simple Pathways for Enriching Your Life. Boston: Skinner House Books, 1999.

*Biziou, Barbara. The Joy of Family Rituals: Recipes for Everyday Living. St. Martin's Press, 2000.

Bria Gina. The Art of Family: Rituals, Imagination, and Everyday Spirituality. 1998

Christopher, Doris. Come to the Table: A Celebration of Family Life. Warner Books, 1999.

*Cox, Meg. The Heart of a Family: Searching America for New Traditions That Fill Us. Random House, 1998.

Doherty, William J. The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties. Avon Books, 1999.

*Edelman, Marian Wright. Guide My Feet: Prayers and Meditation on Loving and Working for Children. Boston: Beacon Press, 1995

Eiker, Diane and Sapphire, Editors. Keep Simple Ceremonies. Portland, ME: Astarte Shell Press, 1995.

Glanz, Barbara. Care Packages for the Home: Dozens of Ways to Regenerate Spirit Where You Live. Andrews McMeel Publishing, 1998.

Johnson, Cait & Shaw, Maura. Celebrating the Great Mother: A Handbook of Earth-Honoring Activity for Parents and Children. Inner Traditions Intl. Ltd., 1995

Krane, Gary and Bradshaw, John. Simple Fun for Busy People. Conari Press, 1998.

*Lieberman, Susan. New Traditions: Redefining Celebrations for Today's Family. Noonday Press, 1991.

*Pickett, Helen. Rejoice Together. Boston: Skinner House Books, DATE??

*?Ryan, M.J. A Grateful Heart: Daily Blessings for the Evening Meal from Buddha to the Beatles. Berkeley, CA: Conari Press, DATE?

*Serith, Ceisiwr. The Pagan Family: Handing the Old Ways Down. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications, DATE??

*Starhawk, Baker, Diane & Hill, Anne. Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddess Traditions. New York: Bantam, 1998.

Starhawk, M. Macha NightMare, and the Reclaiming Collective. The Pagan Book of Living and Dying. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1997.

Teish, Luisah. Carnival of the Spirit: Seasonal Celebrations and Rites of Passage. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1994.

*Teish, Luisah. Jump Up: Good Times Throughout the Seasons with Celebrations from Around the World. Berkeley, CA: Conari Press, 2000.


*Available from the CLF Loan Library







CLF chalice
CLF Home
Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF), 25 Beacon Street, Boston, MA 02108-2823
Phone: (617) 948-6166 · Fax: (617) 523-4123 · Email: clf@uua.org

Address of this page: http://www.uua.org/clf/connections/Parenting/creating.html
Last updated May 24, 2002 by clf@uua.org