This issue of Connections contains a selection of lessons and activities for families to explore together the issues of peace and social justice. The materials have been selected to appeal to 3 age ranges: pre-school, early elementary, and upper elementary. If your family includes adolescents, it is strongly recommended that you try to get involved in either a local or national social action project. Adolescence is a time when many kids are awakening to social injustice and want to do something about it. Resources are listed at the end of this booklet to help families find the right project.

Goals for each age range
Pre-school:
1. To develop awareness and appreciation of human similarities and differences
2. To develop positive feelings about all kinds of people and all kinds of families

Early Elementary:
1. To develop appreciation of differences with understanding, kindness, and caring
2. To develop an understanding of themselves as members of a "rainbow race"
3. To explore concepts of fairness, privilege, prejudice, and racism

Upper Elementary:
1. To explore the idea that there can be no peace without justice
2. To learn skills of conflict resolution

Peacemaking Logs
Make sure everyone in your family understands the meaning of the word "conflict" and "conflict resolution." Simply stated a conflict is a fight, a disagreement, or a problem. It usually involves more than one person. Conflict resolution is solving the problem so no one loses, and so that physical force is not used. When we resolve a conflict successfully, both sides feel like their needs have been met.

Materials:
1. Composition books or homemade books (blank paper folded in half and stapled along once side), one for each member of the family.
2. Materials to decorate and cover your logs.
3. Win-Win Guidelines poster
4. Rules for brainstorming poster
(Both of these can simply be lists on a piece of paper, or you could elaborate and make colorful posters to hang on the wall with the peace poster.)

Procedure:
Use the logs for recording ideas and feelings that come up in discussion of the stories and concepts below. Kids can color and decorate their logs while you're reading and talking. You could spread these activities over several sessions, or do only one. However you proceed, be sure to cover the concepts of Win-Win guidelines.

Michael's Bad Morning
Read the following story and discuss the questions at the end.
It was Monday morning. Michael didn't want to get up and go to school His bed felt so warm and inviting and it was cold outside. He opened his eyes slowly and noticed his dog, Prowler, lying on the floor chewing his brand new sneaker. "Prowler, get out of here!" he yelled angrily. Prowler ran off and hid in a corner.
Her rose, slowly dressed, brushed his teeth and went downstairs, doubly angry because one of his new sneakers was ruined, plus he had to go to school today. "Why couldn't it still be Sunday?" he thought.
Michael ate breakfast, got his book bag, and went to the bus stop. The kids were playing kickball. As he bent over to put his book bag down, the ball flew over and popped him in the head. "Ouch!" he yelled. "Who did that?" It was Tommy who guiltily called out, "I didn't meant it, really," as the other kids laughed. Michael exploded.
"Oh yes you did, you dummy. See if you like the way it feels!" And with that, he lifted the ball and threw it back at Tommy, hitting him in the stomach.
Tommy yelled out, "Hey, that's not fair. The ball hit you by accident, but you did that on purpose. You're mean." This time Tommy threw the ball hard at Michael's leg. Next, the two boys were fighting.

Questions for discussion:
1. What caused the fight?
2. What got in the way of working out the problem?
3. What are some of the choices Michael had, rather than throwing the ball back at Tommy? Ask each person to record some ideas in their logs. Then share them.
4. Have you ever been so angry or upset that you didn't want to work out a problem? Share some of those times with each other. Choose one or two to focus on and have each person write record in their logs some choices the person had in that situation. Share ideas.

Say something like:
"Even though you generally have choices in the way you handle conflicts, sometimes you might not be aware of those choices because you're too angry or upset. That's part of being human, and it doesn't mean you're bad. The thing to remember is to stop and think each time you have a conflict, and see if there's a different way you might handle it, so that in the end, the problem isn't worse."

Turning You-Messages into I-Messages
Introduce the idea of I-messages by saying something like:
"There are two ways people can speak when they're talking about their feelings. People can start either with the word "I" or "You." When you start with the word "I" you don't blame others. I-messages show that you are responsible for the way you feel. When you start with the word "I" you don't make other people feel that they have to defend themselves or come back at you. Remember, feelings are not right or wrong. They are all okay to have. The important and sometimes hard thing to do is to take responsibility of own feelings. Starting a sentence with the word "I" can help us do that."

Read each of the conflict situations below. After each one have each person first record a "You-message," in their logs (or take turns out loud), then an "I-message." Share your messages.
1. Janice cuts in front of Sarah in line. Sarah replies:
2. Susan accidentally spills Anthony's milk at lunchtime. Anthony replies:
3. John gets an A on his math test. Josh who got a D calls John a nerd. John replies:

Try acting out the following conflicts first as you would without I-messages, then with them:
1. There's a pencil on the floor. Two people go to pick it up at once. They start to argue over whose pencil it is.
2. Tom and Jason are walking to lunch. Mike asks if he can join them. Tom and Jason Ignore Mike. Mike feels hurt.
3. Maria and Peggy are working on a project together. Peggy hasn't brought the materials she is responsible for. Now the project might have to be turned in late.
4. Make up more situations that might occur in your family. With each situation, first record a You-message in your logs, then an I-message. Share messages.

Treat Yourselves
Set out a medium size jar or bowl and keep a collection of loose change nearby. Put a coin in the jar every time someone in the family sends a clear I-message. When you've saved enough money, treat yourselves to something special, like ice cream or a movie.

Brainstorming
Introduce this practice by saying something like:
"Part of working out differences is coming up with ideas for solutions that satisfy all people involved. (refer to win-win guidelines.) One way to do that is through the process of brainstorming, a process in which people come up with as many ideas as possible for a topic. Brainstorming helps us think of solutions to conflicts where we think there are very few, or even none."

Practice brainstorming:
1. Hold up a pencil. Say: "I want each of us to think of all the different possible uses for this pencil." We'll have 4 minutes. (You can individually record in your log as many ideas as you can think of, or call out ideas and have one family member record them all.) Share your ideas.
2. Take turns making up things to brainstorm about and repeat the procedure. Lead the game from easy ones like the pencil to more serious topics like "think of all the healthy ways to express anger," or "think of all the things you can do when someone hits you other than hitting back."
3. Move into brainstorming about conflicts. Do these brainstorms as a group. You could use the examples above, or use some from your family's own experience. Brainstorm different choices the individuals had in each situation. After all ideas are out, evaluate them one by one, discussing pros and cons until you agree on a best choice, a win-win choice.

Make a Peace Poster
Materials:
Large poster board
Magazines for cutting out pictures
Blank paper and materials for drawing

Procedures:
1. At the top of the poster write the words:
Peace means taking care of ourselves, each other, and our earth"
2. Draw a circle in the middle of the poster board to represent the earth (color if you want). Then draw three lines out from the circle forming peace symbol on the poster board that divides it into thirds.
3. Write the words "OURSELVES," "EACH OTHER," and "OUR EARTH" around the edge of the circle in each of the three sections.
4. Using pictures (either photos or drawings) fill in each section with images of your family and friends, people taking care of each other, and people taking care of the earth.
Stress: Peacemaking begins with each individual-and that means you and me!

The People Rainbow

Materials:
light blue poster board or a long piece of white paper (44 X 66")
poster paint or watercolor paint in red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet
paint brushes and sponges
one aluminum pie pan
bowls of clean water and towels

Introduce this activity by saying something like:
"People all over the world have stories about rainbows. Some people say there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. They say if you could ever find the place, very far away, where it touches the ground, you would find that pot of god and be rich. That story comes from the Irish. Jewish people tell a story about the rainbow, too. They say the rainbow is a sign, a promise from their God that the world will never be destroyed. They say the rainbow first appeared after a great, angry flood that nearly destroyed everything. When they see the rainbow they know their God is keeping a promise made long ago. Here's another story about the rainbow, and this one will help us to understand the world better.

Ø Paint the large sheet of white paper with a blue watercolor wash. Mix a small amount of blue paint with a large amount of water and brush or sponge it onto the paper. Allow it to dry thoroughly before touching it.
Ø Make an arc on the paper (or blue poster board), using a pencil and string as a large compass.
Ø Use the template to cut one or more sponges into the shape of a human figure. One sponge can be used to print several colors of paint if you rinse it out well between printings.
Ø ØRead The Gift of Color
Ø After the story, say something like:
We're going to make a people rainbow. Sometimes the human race is also called the Rainbow Race. Do you know why? Yes, it's because people come in so many colors. Even in our family, we have different skin tones. Let's hold our hands next to each others so we can really see the differences. Like the people in the story, all real people have some color or we wouldn't be able to see them. We are going to make a big poster to remind all of us that we're proud to be part of the Rainbow Race.
Ø Use a paintbrush to apply each paint color (one at a time) to the human shaped sponges. Then press the sponge lightly to the paper along the arc.

The Gift of Color
by Robin Gray

Imagine a time long ago when things were just getting started. The first flowers were blooming; the first birds were building their nests high in the branches of sheltering trees; girls and boys, men and women setting up their first families and homes. These are the things that you might have seen if it wasn't so dark. No one could see, because it was the first night, and the first day hadn't happened yet.
The First People could hear the wind whining in the trees, and the birds twittering and whistling. It was so dark they couldn't see anything, but the First People were too busy to worry about the dark. They were thinking about all the first things they would need to live beyond that first night. The First People were working so hard that they really didn't care that they couldn't see each other in the dark. As they spoke, they would turn their bodies toward sounds of voices that didn't have faces.
When the sun finally rose on that first morning, the whole world looked like it was made of glass. One by one the First People realized they still couldn't see anything. Their faces and muscles and bones were all clear. Light passed straight through their bodies to the clear ground below. The sky was clear. The trees, birds, flowers, and rocks were all as clear as glass.
Finally, one of the First Children broke the silence. "I have eyes to see with," the child cried. "But there's nothing to see!" One of the adults tried to comfort the child, but the First People were all sad.
"What will we do?" one woman said. "Last night we planned to gather the tall grass that rustles in the breeze. We planned to bend and fold, and twist and tie that grass to make the first baskets. Then, we were going to go down to the river, which we hear moving past us, to collect baskets full of water, so all the First People could have a drink."
"Oh-hh-hh," moaned a thirsty man. "How will you find the grass if you can't see it? How will you know if you've made a tight basket if you can't see your work? How will you find your way to the water and back?"
The First People were very creative and solved all these problems, one by one. Holding hands, they formed a human chain to make a trail to the tall grass. They took small, careful steps, never knowing when clear grass might give way to clear rocks or clear tree stumps. Once the human chain was finally in place, the person on the end felt carefully for one long, thick blade of grass, pulled it out of the ground and passed it to the next person, who passed it to the next, until the blade of grass reached the last person in line. After the grass had been plucked, several First People started weaving baskets, feeling their work with their fingers to find even the tiniest holes that would let water out. Finally they had a few baskets that could hold water. Once again all the First People formed a human chain and worked their way to the river. When a basket was passed to the last man in line, he dipped it carefully into the river he couldn't see and pulled it up full of water. The First People breathed a sigh of relief when the man shouted, "It's holding! It's holding!" And so it was that the First People shared their first drink of water.
The First People had been hard at work all day, and they'd only accomplished one thing-getting a drink! Although the First People had plenty to drink, they had nothing to eat, and they all went to sleep hungry.
When the sun came up again, nothing had changed, except the First People were more worried about how to take care of themselves in a world where nothing could be seen. As the day passed, the First Women and Men planned ways to collect food. A First Child who was playing found something hard-a rock, a crystal-clear rock. She tossed the rock up in the air and it twinkled in the sun. The child held it up for her mother to see. Stretching out her clear arm, with the clear rock in her clear hand, something happened. Stripes of something not-clear showed on her face and reflected on the ground below. (Ask: "What do you think the crystal-clear rock was? A prism. Demonstrate if you have one.)
When the girl's mother saw the stripes of something not-clear, she called the others around. The First People were excited as they felt on the ground for more clear stones that would make those seven wonderful not-clear stripes. The girl's mother decided to name the stripes. Pointing to each in turn she called out, "Red! Orange! Yellow! Green! Blue! Indigo! Violet!" The First People played with the stripes until the sun set.
On the third morning, a gentle rain fell. The First People set out their baskets to catch the rain and talked again about how to gather food. They almost didn't notice when the rain stopped and the sun came out. Looking up, the first People saw above them the same not-clear stripes they had played with the day before: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. As the sun grew brighter, the stripes glowed stronger.
Suddenly one man said, "What if we take our baskets and form a line to the stripes? Can we bring the red, orange, and yellow home? Can we pass green and blue, indigo and violet down the line, and use the stripes to make our world not-clear?"
No one knew the answers, but everyone was willing to try. They formed a human chain so long it led straight to the stripes in the sky. At the head of the line was the woman who had named the stripes. She filled the baskets and passed them back down the line. As she turned with the last basket full of violet, the First People gasped. All the beautiful colors were dripping out of the baskets! But the groans soon turned to cheers, for when the very first drop fell to the earth, it colored a flower a brilliant shade of red. The next drop caught a bird's wing in flight. The whole world came alive in shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Trees appeared, and blue and yellow mingled to color the grasses green.
The First People were so busy watching their world change that they almost forgot that they were still as clear as glass. Suddenly a man tossed his basket of indigo high overhead and ran down the line of First People to await the shower of color below. Others followed his lead. Soon all the First People were playing with the colors falling from the sky. They rolled in the green grass and hugged gray tree trunks. They chased orange butterflies and marveled at purple flowers. All the colors were still quite wet, and a bit of each rubbed off on everybody. When the colors finally dried, the First People found that they were all different colors. Some were warm, dark brown like the earth. Others were the color of honey, or shades of rose and burnished bronze mingled together. Some were pink all over, and others were touched by the yellow of the sun and golden buttercups.
They were thankful for this blessing of color. Now they could see the color of ripe apples and the blush of juicy peaches, and gather good food to eat. They could see the river run, birds fly, and fish swim. They could walk with their heads held high, their eyes seeking the best path. And they could learn from everything they could see.
When they looked at each other and saw all the beautiful colors of the First People, they were especially happy, and never wanted to be in a world without color again.

Rules for Brainstorming

1. Say anything that comes to mind.
2. Don't judge your ideas or the ideas of others.
3. Don't limit your ideas by trying to have them make sense. Invite your mind to be absolutely creative.
4. Allow your thought to come quickly. Let them flow.
5. Be outrageous and have fun!
The Win-Win Guidelines
1. Take time for cooling off. Find alternative ways to express anger.
2. Each person states their feelings and the problem the way they see it, using "I-Messages." No blaming, no name-calling, no interrupting.
3. Each person states the problem as the other person sees it.
4. Each person says how they themselves are responsible for the problem.
5. Brainstorm solutions together and choose a solution that satisfies both-a Win-Win Solution.
6. Affirm, forgive, or thank.

CLF Home
Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF), 25 Beacon Street, Boston, MA 02108-2823
Phone: (617) 948-6166 · Fax: (617) 523-4123 · Email: clf@uua.org

Address of this page: http://www.uua.org/clf/connections/Parenting/peacesocialjustice.html
Last updated May 24, 2002 by clf@uua.org