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| Tea Bag Remembrance by Betsy Williams What's in a tea bag? Every once in a while something happens which gives meaning to our belief that the sacred, the holy, is found in everyday life. Recently for me it was two tea bags which arrived in the mail from my cousin in Maine. It was the first anniversary of his wife's death, and with the tea bags came an invitation to join him in "a toast in thought to the loving memory of Debi." On the outside of the card was written: I am with you...I have slipped into your heart and your mind, I am painting, running, walking among the tall pines, standing beside you on the rocky, surf-pounded shore, helping others, sad and happy, remembered through you and through you never forgotten. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by my old familiar names, speak to me in the easy way you always used to. Laugh as we always laughed at life, its punctuation points of joy and futility. Play, smile, learn, think of me...Let my name be the household word that it always was; let it be spoken without the ghost of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. Thus, the common act of sharing a cup of tea became a sacred ritual. My husband and I sat quietly that afternoon, sharing the moment, more than our thoughts; remembering people of our past, those who are dead and those who are living; feeling a spiritual connection to each other, to family, to all life. With a simple, mundane tea bag a sacred, sustaining relationship was renewed. This is what religious ritual is all about-purposeful, symbolic action that helps sustain us and deepen our connection to the spiritual dimension of life. It increases our potential for experiencing spirituality in everyday life, helps u s to heal, to cope, to celebrate. Ritual can be complex and rigid, or it can be simple and flexible. Consider the drinking of tea. From its humble origins in China, tea became the centerpiece of the Zen Japanese tea ceremony, or cha-no-yu. The tea room is constructed so that one must enter on one's knees, thus beginning the ritual with humility. The tea utensils, central to the ritual, are carefully selected by the tea master and are always simple and non-ornamental. The Zen focus on humility, simplicity and the absence of all that is insignificant is carried throughout the ceremony in the meticulous execution of serving and drinking the tea. The tea bags which arrived from my cousin became the centerpiece of our own unique and simple ritual, with a focus on relationships and the abiding strength of love even in death. It occurred to me that my cousin's tea-by-mail idea has many applications for church-by-mail CLFers who are often isolated from family and friends. Here are just a few ideas of how you might use this idea to invite your far-flung friends and family to ritualistically share a moment with you. Remembrance Anniversaries of all sorts provide moments of spiritual connection to be shared: death of a loved one or a revered leader, important dates in your personal or group history (i.e. the day you moved, were married, graduated from college together). Even important dates in national or world history can be remembered collectively, renewing our connections with one another and what we value. I recently heard of an elderly woman who used to host a luncheon every year on the anniversary of the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision. No longer able to entertain in the same way, she could send tea bags to former guests suggesting that they continue to honor the values and meaning of that day together by sharing a cup of tea in their own homes. Healing Many times we can't be with someone who is an important part of a healing process for us. Finding peace within ourselves often requires that we reach out to others—ask for forgiveness or offer the hand of friendship. How many times have you just felt better after sitting down with a friend and sharing a cup of tea? When time or distance preclude this, consider inviting that friend to join you from afar. Some of the healing in that cup of tea is the simple act of reaching out to those who care about you, knowing they are there. Celebration Here the opportunities are almost endless: birthdays, anniversaries, graduation, new job, retirement any special event which you would like to invite people from afar to celebrate with you. Adapt a favorite poem, quote or reading to fit the day and you definitely have something more than a Hallmark card! (One CLF family uses material from saved issues of Quest inside their greeting cards.) We gather together for many reasons. When we cannot physically gather we can symbolically gather, with an everyday ordinary tea bag. In this act of reaching out and sharing a thought-filled, heart-felt moment, our spirits are strengthened and our relationship to that which is sacred to us is renewed.  CLF Home Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF), 25 Beacon Street, Boston, MA 02108-2823 Phone: (617) 948-6166 · Fax: (617) 523-4123 · Email: clf@uua.org Address of this page: http://www.uua.org/clf/connections/Parenting/teabag.html | |