October 2004

Quest Archives

Contents

• Wit and Wisdom
• Your Money and/or Your Life, by Lynn Ungar
• Words From Our Members
• Dear Friend of the CLF, by Denny Davidoff
• How to Give to the CLF
• How Do I Know How Much to Give? by Brad Greeley
• From Your Guest Minister, by Olivia Holmes
• CLF Seeks Directors, Officers, and Nominating Committee Member, by David Pohl
• REsources for Living, by Helen Zidowecki
• More Wisdom..., by John Lees

Quest Archives

Wit and Wisdom

A while back we asked you for your “wit and wisdom,” brief quotes that you found fun and/or inspirational. The responses came pouring in! Here is a selection:

Your Money and/or Your Life

by Lynn Ungar, consulting minister, UU Fellowship of the North Bay, Napa, California

Let’s be up front here: this is our in-print version of Canvass Sunday, our annual celebration of your opportunity to financially support this congregation. We can beat around the bush, talk about vision and commitment, but really, this is what is known as the “Sermon on the Amount.” Just to let you know, we’re talking here about money.

“Money is always there, but the pockets change; it is not in the same pockets after a change, and that is all there is to say about money.” So says Gertrude Stein, who is, of course, dead wrong. There’s lots to say about money. Making money takes up the majority of our time as adults, and spending it takes up quite a bit of what’s left over. How could we not have something to say about such a central aspect of our lives?

But that doesn’t mean that it’s something we should talk about in church. After all, religion is about spirituality, about righteousness and peace, which has nothing to do with anything as prosaic and worldly as money—not! As a matter of fact, if you look at the Bible, both the Jewish and Christian scriptures, you will find that one verse in eight deals with the relationship between faith and how you use your money and possessions; of the ten commandments, three provide instruction on how you should use your money and possessions; and, of the 38 or so parables of Jesus, 16 deal with the relationship between what you say you believe and how you use your money and possessions. In fact, of everything that Jesus talks about, the number two topic is—guess what—the use of money and possessions. For a non-religious topic, money seems to get a lot of air-time in the religious world.

The reality is, of course, that money has everything to do with religion, with the choices that we make about how to be in relationship with ourselves, our neighbors and with the divine. Religion is about life, and life, it seems, has a whole lot to do with money.

Religion and money share similarities beyond the simple fact that religions like to talk about money. Money and religion both deal in the realm of symbols, in the realm of things that don’t really exist beyond the meanings that we give them. Our ceremony of lighting the chalice has meaning because we agree that it points to something beyond the simple action. To people outside of our tradition our chalice lighting is a somewhat perplexing choice to light a candle in a compote dish. To us, however, the flaming chalice becomes a symbol of our unity with others who practice our free faith, of the light of understanding and the warmth of love, of the covenant we share with one another.

Money, likewise, has value only because we agree it has value. Admittedly, that value is a little less fluid than the symbolic value that we assign to our flaming chalice, but it is a symbol nonetheless. The paper money and the coins that are no longer made of silver and copper; the numbers that we shift around in our checkbooks and ATMs, mean nothing in and of themselves. But we have agreed, all across the planet, to let these bits of paper and digital blips stand for our life energy, the time and talent and resources that we exchange for the time and talent and resources of others.

Money is, in short, the same thing as power. Having time and talent and resources means having the ability to make choices. Having choices means that we have the ability to make decisions. Making decisions means having power, which is the same thing as having the ability to shape the world. Money is a symbol set which expresses power. Religion is the same thing.

Let me try to work the equation again. Religion is about life energy, the ways we are connected at the most basic level to one another and the larger whole that we call God or nature or the universe. Religion is about shaping our life choices, the values and meanings that we allow to guide our actions and direct our life energy. Religious community not only helps us to choose actions in accordance with our values, it also gives us a place where we can join together in living out those values. The more we join together to live out our values, the more we are able to contribute not only to our own decisions, but also to the decisions that affect the broader world, the decisions of politicians and organizations and society as a whole. The ability to make decisions is power. The ability to affect decisions in the larger world is big power.

Money equals power. Religion also equals power. So does money equal religion, or religion equal money? I’m not sure. Let’s start with power, and see where we get. Power, in spite of its association with corruption, is neither good nor bad. Having power neither makes you evil nor admirable. Power in the form of electricity allows us to read in bed at night and toast the bread for our sandwiches. Power in the form of electricity also strikes as lightning and burns down forests. Power in the form of the Catholic church led to the evil of the Inquisition. Power in the form of the Catholic church also led to the formation of communities of liberation in Latin America. Power isn’t good or bad, it’s just real. What is good or bad are the choices that we make about how to exercise our power. To have power means to have responsibility. And I suspect that that is largely what makes us uncomfortable talking about money. If we talk about money, if we truly acknowledge it and the role it takes in our lives, then we will need to also acknowledge the power that we have and the responsibility we have to use that power in accordance with what we believe. We will have to acknowledge the reality that every time we spend money we shape the world.

How we spend our money matters—it is power, it shapes the world. When it shapes the world in accordance with our values and our covenant with creation, it’s religious. That’s a heavy responsibility, and it’s not easy to know how to make those decisions. Of course, there is a certain level of expenditure that falls almost outside the range of choice: we simply can’t survive without certain basics of food, water, heat and shelter. But even at a fairly basic level, I suspect that we have a lot more choice than we might think. I think about my partner Kelsey’s brother, who can fit all of his belongings in his pick-up truck—who, in fact, has lived for considerable stretches of time in his pick-up truck. It’s not that he’s incompetent or mentally ill or even, for that matter, poor. He just doesn’t see any reason to have more stuff than you can put in the bed of a smallish truck, and still have room to sleep. I think it’s safe to say that most of us, regardless of our level of income, are in a position to make at least some choices about what to do with our money.

For better or for worse, those choices involve deep issues, questions that literally feel like matters of life and death. At bottom, we choose between spending our money and saving it, which takes us deep into the issue of security. We use our money to make us feel safe. Some of us feel safe because we have money in the bank, and some of us feel safe because we can look at the things that surround us and know that we have everything we need. But when I give a little extra thought to what makes me feel safe—or unsafe—a third option comes to mind.

As I think about it, the things that make me feel unsafe are almost too numerous to mention—but they are pretty much all matters that reach beyond my door. I am scared by environmental degradation, the American budget deficit and racism. I am scared by economic injustice, toxins in food, and war and its brutal consequences. I am scared by homophobia, fundamentalisms of all stripes and global warming. I’m also not keen on cockroaches.

On the other hand, things that make me feel safe include friends and family, belonging to a community where I feel accepted as I am. I feel safe in the company of openminded people who won’t deride or dismiss me for my convictions. I feel safe around people who believe in working for a better world, who live their lives with the consciousness of making a difference. I feel safe in a community of people who recognize their own power, and are willing to commit that power to making the world a better place for all its human and non-human denizens.

It turns out, when I spend money on things—however useful or fun—I often enjoy it. I will confess that in recent months we’ve purchased both a laptop computer and a digital camcorder. And for about an average of 20 minutes a month those things are really nice to have. And the rest of the time they just take up space. But the money I give away—to the Nature Conservancy, to the local Family Emergency Shelter, to Planned Parenthood, even to the political party of my choice—that money gives me hope. It’s the money I give away that makes me feel safer, by knowing that, in some small way, I am strengthening the communities that make hope real.

And without question, over the course of my life I have given more money to Unitarian Universalist churches than to all other organizations combined—by a factor of about ten. There’s a reason for that. I know what these congregations have given me. When I split with my long-time partner over ten years ago, my church was there for me in comfort. When that state was faced with a virulent anti-gay initiative, my church was an active force for justice, helping to defeat the initiative by the narrowest of margins. When Kelsey and I got married seven years ago, it was the church that celebrated our union, and it was the church that blessed our daughter in her baby dedication ceremony a year later.

In UU churches I have come to know countless people who have inspired me with their tireless efforts on behalf of affordable housing, or adult literacy, or environmental activism or civil rights or peace—people who have taught me to put my life on the line for what is right. In UU churches I have found communities that challenged me to think more deeply, to look more closely, to listen more carefully. In UU churches I have fed the homeless, sung in choirs, taught and been taught by children, laughed, cried and eaten really great meals.

As a member of the CLF staff, I know that all of us take heart from all of you. In a world that feels deeply divided, it helps to know that you are making connections across national boundaries. In a world where judgmental attitudes seem to reign, it helps to know that freeworld CLF-ers are reaching out as pen pals to our imprisoned members. In an era when selfishness so often seems to reign, it helps to know that so many of you give generously of your time and money to build a church to share with people you may never even meet.

This month you will be asked to think about your financial commitment to this church. Only you can know your financial circumstances and what is possible for you. But I ask you, when you think about your pledge, to think about where your money goes and which of those choices gives you the deepest satisfaction and joy. Ask yourself what gives you the greatest sense of safety in the world, and what challenges you to keep moving down the path of becoming the person you hope to be. Ask yourself what this congregation has been to you, and then ask yourself what you hope to see it become. You get to choose. Choose joy, and choose power. Choose what you want the world to see.

It’s the money I give away that makes me feel safer, by knowing that, in some small way, I am strengthening the communities that make hope real.

Words From Our Members:
“The CLF is alive and vital and useful...”

Dear Friend of the CLF:

I attended the 2004 General Assembly of the Unitarian Universalist Association as a delegate from the CLF and, during the course of the fourth business session, when I spoke from a floor mic, that is how I identified myself. “My name is Denny Davidoff and I am the new board chair of the Church of the Larger Fellowship.” In so doing, I acknowledged
my responsibility to lead, to support, to nurture and to grow our unusual and very important congregation-without-walls. I hope to fulfill my duties well.

The CLF is alive and vital and useful. Last year when we conducted research among our members, and told us they look forward to reading each new issue. Our website gets thousands of hits each month. Isolated parents thank us for the materials we provide for their children's homeschooling embrace the CLF because it makes them feel connected. Over 100 prisoners receive the warmth and solicitude of UU ministry.

There is lots more we can do, and the board and staff are working together to enrich our programs and extend our membership base.

Congregation board chairs get to ask the members for money, and I am no exception. With enthusiasm and deep conviction, I request your contribution to the 2005 annual canvass. Please give more than you did last year. Please stretch and sacrifice. This is your church and we need you. Unitarian Universalism needs you. Remember, we are all in this together.

Faithfully,
Denny Davidoff

How to Give to the CLF

Financially, we are a church like any other: We depend on the contributions of our members. We plan the scope and programs of the CLF based on the pledges we receive.

Membership brings with it the responsibility to make and fulfill a pledge for the calendar year. You may make a financial contribution in a variety of ways.

• Use the envelope found each month in Quest for your checks.
• Contribute by credit card (Visa, MC, or Discover)—pay in full or set up an automatic monthly credit card withdrawal by contacting Donna Dudley at the CLF office (or 617-948-6160).
• Use your bank’s free on-line banking service to send a check every month.
• Use our website to set up your contribution at www.clfuu.org, click on Contribute.

In addition, we hope you will communicate with the office about changes in address, telephone number, or e-mail address, or to give us feedback about your experience in the church.

We need and welcome your contribution to CLF whether or not you are a member of the CLF. Sponsors help us to help those who cannot contribute as much as they would like.

If you are a member and it is a hardship for you to make a contribution, you should understand that you are welcome here whether or not you can help financially. In this case, please contact the minister or the administrator.

How Do I Know How Much to Give?

The old benchmarks are nowhere in sight. Gas, forever below $1 a gallon has spiked to more than $2 a gallon. Interest rates are rising after reaching 40 year lows. A house worth $60,000 years ago is worth two or three times that in many areas. The dollar we used to put in the collection plate every Sundays, if given each day of the year, wouldn't make an average pledge in most UU churches today.

Every successful church canvass offers guidelines for it members. The leading fundraisers are agreed that the only helpful guide is one based on a percentage of income. Our lives and personal economies are so different, the only fair guide is one based on a percentage. Some UU churches today talk about 10% as the amount to set aside in a personal or family budget to give away. They recommend 5% to your church and 5% to all the other groups and causes you support. Other churches use a sliding scale, with 1% of household income suggested for families with incomes below $20,000 a year, going up to a pledge of 8% of income or more for families with household incomes in excess of $100,000.

If this is a new way of looking at your pledge to your church, you may need to plan several years to reach 5% (or your goal percentage): 2% in 2005, 3% in 2006 and so on. We ask each CLF member to work toward this understanding of generous and responsible support for our church.

Brad Greeley,
CLF fundraising chair

From Your Guest Minister

Our minister, Jane Rzepka, is on sabbatical. She has invited a series of colleagues to write the minister’s column in her absence. We hope you enjoy them. Ed.

by Olivia Holmes, director of international relations for the Unitarian Universalist Association

As a child I was brought up in a Christian Unitarian (pre-merger) church. In my church and family, we took Lent very seriously. It was a time of sacrifice, of soul searching, and of renewal. I would struggle with the question of what I should give up for all those days between Ash Wednesday and Easter. Whatever it was, chocolate, watching TV or picking fights with my brother, I had to sacrifice something because my faith demanded it of me. Because I took the sacrifice very seriously, I succeeded. So Easter was a day of real joy. I had accomplished something at least a little bit hard because my faith asked it of me.

In my 40s, I rediscovered our Unitarian Universalist (post-merger) faith, and headed off to seminary. It was there that I learned that Judaism and Islam, the other two of the three Abrahamic faiths, have their own seasons of deep reflection. For the devout Jew it is the month of Elul, which ends in the highest holy days of the Jewish year. For the observant Jew, Elul is a month of prayer, introspection, and repentance. It is a time when the faithful prepare spiritually for the holy days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, seek atonement and hope to be written into the book of life as they prepare for the coming of the new year. It is believed that Moses received the second set of tablets during the month of Elul. For the devout Muslim, the month of ritual reflection comes during Ramadan, which ends in the holy festival of Eid al-Fitr, which celebrates the breaking of the month of fasting from dawn to dark. Ramadan connotes intense scorching heat and dryness, so called, some say, because the hearts and souls of the faithful are more open to the teachings and presence in their lives of Allah during this time. It is believed that Muhammad received the Holy Quran from heaven during the month of Ramadan.

As a devout Unitarian Universalist I have often wished that we had a similar designated time of heightened spiritual awareness and reflection, of repentance and renewal. Not one borrowed from another faith, but one of our own. I’ve longed to have a holy time of year during which our faith calls upon us to be more mindful of how we walk in the world, how we treat ourselves and one another and that which we call sacred.

So it was my profound delight to discover that such a holy time does exist within our faith. In the Khasi Hills of Northeast India, some 10,000 indigenous Unitarians spend the month before September 18th preparing for the new year. It was on September 18th, 1887, that Hajom Kissor Singh held the first Unitarian service in the state of Meghalaya, India. Today that day is an official state holiday. Banks and schools are closed, and Unitarians spend the day together in religious observance, celebration, and feasting.

Every night during the month before September 18, each congregation gathers at the home of one member family for a worship service which ends in a blessing of the household and then, of course, a potluck dinner. Houses are cleaned till they shine, as a symbol of the inner purification that each Unitarian works on during this month. So it is that the renewal of the individual is profoundly connected to the renewal of the entire community.

The cycles of renewal and rebirth, repentance and atonement, aspiration and change happen for people all around the globe. The more we know about spiritual practices around the world, the greater the opportunities to deepen our own faith. Maybe it is time for us to create a global Unitarian, Universalist and UU spiritual resources book that will allow us to learn from our own faith and its many expressions around the world, even as we can learn from the traditions of other faiths. Like the Khasi Unitarians, in deepening our sense of belonging to a larger community, we can also deepen our inner faith.

CLF Seeks Directors, Officers, and Nominating Committee Member

by David Pohl, chair, CLF Nominating Committee

The Church of the Larger Fellowship Nominating Committee seeks nominations of CLF members to fill these positions on the Board of Directors for the year beginning June 2005:

• four directors for three-year terms
• treasurer for a one-year term
• clerk for a one-year term

Board members set CLF policy and approve the budget. Board members meet in Boston twice annually, at General Assembly, and periodically by conference calls.

The CLF also seeks to fill a position for a three year term on the Nominating Committee. The Nominating Committee nominates new board members and most meetings are conducted by telephone.

You may nominate yourself or another CLF member for any of these positions. Please contact the CLF with your nomination: clf@clfuu.org.

REsources for Living

by Helen Zidowecki, acting minister of religious education, Church of the Larger Fellowship.

Jesus was a very observant person. He noticed how people did things. For example, when he was sitting by the gate to the temple, he could see the donation box where people put in money for the temple. Some people were cheerful about giving, and some were grouchy. Some people seemed to give a lot of money, and some very little—and it sometimes seemed that people who looked like they had a very little gave a lot, and those who had a lot gave little.

One day someone asked Jesus about paying taxes to the Romans. Jesus said, “Give to Caesar (the Roman ruler of the Jews at that time) that which is Caesar’s and to God that which is God’s.” Governments are pretty forthright about telling people how much they have to pay, but people need to make their own choices about how they will support the religious institutions they care about.

Those choices about what things we will support and take care of are choices of stewardship.

What is stewardship? Stewardship is about taking care of something we value and enabling it to grow. A steward is someone who looks after

Who are our stewards? Do you have any stories about how someone in the past took care of something for you, like helped you take care of a plant or a pet? If you go to a Unitarian Universalist group or congregation, have people in the past given to the church so that you can gather together as UUs? If you don’t gather with a UU group, are there other groups, such as sports or arts programs you belong to, that have their own stories of dedicated stewards who kept an organization alive so you and others could enjoy it?

How can we be of service? There are so many ways. You might want to make a list, or take a bunch of sticky notes, and write down all of the ways that you can think of being of service. One area that needs our stewardship is our congregation—CLF. Whether you meet with others for religious education and worship, or whether you rely on the website and publications such as Quest for your religious program, you are relying on the stewardship of others. And they are counting on your stewardship. So however you meet, your religious life touches that of others. Add your contribution to continue the stewardship circle of receiving and giving. In the giving, celebrate that we can give, and honor everyone’s contributions.

One helpful resource for looking at ideas of stewardship is the Unitarian Universalist curriculum, Stewardship: The Joy of Giving. I am going to put some of these ideas on Religious Education Connections in October.

To give you a taste, here are a few quotes from Stewardship: the Joy of Giving (available at www.uua.org/ re/curriculum/stewardguide/):

Religion has a role to play in helping people make the connection between making a living and living a meaningful, spiritually satisfying life. Stewardship is an important part of this process. We must define what is truly important to us, evaluate our current behavior toward money, and make a place in our lives for contributing time and money to the things we value. The act of giving starts a whole cycle of positive events in our lives. We see that we can make a difference. We become more confident, hopeful, and empowered to take the next step. We create new relationships, discover new perspectives, and make more meaningful connections to our surroundings, all of which helps us to grow spiritually. The giving cycle is positive, affirming and joyous. Our Unitarian Universalist religious communities provide us with the best place for this kind of exploration and growth to take place….

Stewardship is not just about caring for the present, but investing in the future. We hold what we value—including our Unitarian Universalist congregations and institutions—in trust. As stewards, we work to ensure that what we cherish will be there in the future for the benefit of others. Furthermore, successful stewards not only protect, but help what they value to grow. Their actions are empowering. This is true whether we are caretakers of our planet, trustees of our congregation, or stewards of our Unitarian Universalist faith.

Do you have ideas on how you can be stewards of money, of your time, of the earth?

Sent in by John Lees, treasurer, CLF Board of Directors, Palm Beach Gardens, Florida

More Wisdom...

1. It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish.
2. Life is a symphony, not a sound byte.
3. Remember, you’re unique, just like everybody else.
4. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
5. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
6. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
7. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
8. It isn’t whether you win or lose, it’s where you place the blame.
9. There are only two things you need around the house, WD 40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use WD 40. If it moves and it shouldn’t, use the duct tape.
10. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here, we might as well dance.